'Best fish n chips' - Batter recipes n chips

I love fish and chips but only like home made chips and very few shops make their own now so I am looking for the good old fashioned batter recipes for fish hot dogs etc and the best way to cook home made chips thank you so I can make my own mwah.

Beer Batter Recipe
Before you start, drink one beer to check for quality. Good, isn’t it? Now go ahead.

Ingredients

1 case beer
1 cups flour
2 large eggs
1 onion
salt and pepper
fish
deep fryer
oil

Method

Get a shallow bowl, fork, salt, pepper, etc. Drink another beer. It must be just right. To be sure beer is of the highest quality, drink another beer as fast as you can. Repeat.

With fork, mix flour in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of satl and imx again. Meanwhile, make sure that the beer is of the finest quality– drink another one. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 pinchers of epperp and mix till high. If yeg golk gets stuck in fork, just scrape it loose with a drewscriver. Drink another beer, checking for tonscisticity.

Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn’t matter which). Drink antoher reeb. Sift 1/2. Fold in chopped oninions and one babblespoon of bree, or whatever liquid you can find if you don’t want to waste beer. Wix mell. Have another beeber.

Pour oil in turn and fry deep fater to higher. Dump ifsh into miexd tabber. Now dropped fillettettes into feep dat rfyer and kooc. Drink the rest of the beer, plug unfry ther and bo to ged.

Ok's here's how I do it... . In a bowl put some self raising flour and add water and a pinch or 2 of salt. . mix well until a "run off the spoon" consistency is obtained by adding more water or s/r flour as required. . set this aside. . peel your agria potatoes and cut into 1cm x 1cm chips and place on a tea towel to pat dry. . your deep fryer temp should be set at 160c and the chips placed in the basket and cooked until they have some colour. . remove and place in a bowl over serviettes. . fillets of fish / mussels / hotdogs / scallops whatever, dredged in cornflour which has a little salt and white pepper mixed through. . (can use lemon pepper if you want) Remove the basket, dredge your fish, then into the batter and lay away into the deep fryer, two fillets at a time until the batter sets. . remove and set aside on serviettes. . do all the fish fillets. . scoop out any batter dregs immediately. . When you are ready to eat and your plates have had their salads plated. . Place the chips back into the basket and into the fryer at 180-190c until near cooked and crispy. . Now add the fish on top until golden brown turning once. .
dont over cook. . Plate up and sprinkle chicken salt on the chips. . and salt on the fish... Add some tartare sauce or a slice of lemon for the fish and enjoy. .

You can make my Seafood Sauce if you want...
For cocktails, crayfish, prawns, crab, oysters, fish, mussels~ Use store bought or home made aioli
Ingredients:
1/2 cup aioli, 1/4 cup tomato sauce, worcestershire sauce, tabasco sauce, 1/4 cup cream horseradish, zest1 lime 1 lemon, salt and pepper. .
Method:
Mix all well together and cover. Will store in fridge for a week

A beer batter is nice, however, I like a tempura batter as it is very thin and crisp. The water MUST be icy cold.

Using cold water is a must. This keeps the batter from becoming sticky. When you add the flour, whisk quickly just to mix it in evenly. Sticky batter results in oily tempura.

1 egg, beaten
1 cup COLD water
2 tablespoons dry white wine
1 cup flour
Beat the egg and mix with water. Add flour and whisk quickly.

wow fisher that seafood sauce sounds brilliant! Do you think that it should be used sparingly? because we woudn't want to kill the flavour of the seafood eh?