?Great Cooking Fails ?

Chef_nzdoug, Jul 7, 11:37 am

Ha ha so funny, love the specs in the loaf !

Chef_rainrain1, Jul 7, 11:42 am

Home made lava is quite nice.

Chef_nzdoug, Jul 7, 1:17 pm

The saucepan lids embedded in the ceilings are a worry.

Chef_devonwrecked, Jul 7, 1:20 pm

haha they are great!

Chef_gshj, Jul 7, 1:43 pm

Lol suddenly I feel like masterchef!
My worst would have been, when newly married to a fussy eater, and low on groceries, i decided to make some macaroni cheese. Other half insisted there must be some kind of meat in the freezer that could be "thrown in".
There was-saveloys!
Trying to save time as he needed to get to work, I threw frozen savs in with boiling macaroni, then discovered we didnt have enough milk, and very little cheese.
Husband decided he wasnt hungry after all on sighting pink macaroni, lumps of saveloy, and a sparse sprinkling of cheese!

Chef_baalamb, Jul 7, 2:12 pm

bbq'd corned beef - enough said.

Chef_twindizzy, Jul 7, 3:20 pm

So funny. That poor woman sitting on the floor in an attitude of hopeless despair, surveying the mess from her dropped crockpot, while the cat was taking advantage of an opportunity, was seriously funny.

Chef_buzzy110, Jul 7, 4:21 pm

Loving the lava.

Chef_kaddiew, Jul 7, 6:35 pm

Cooked an ox tongue but didn't know that you need to peel all the skin prickly bit off before you eat it. Have never eaten it since.

Chef_samsnan, Jul 7, 7:19 pm


Funny as!

The worst of mine left a room looking like the one where the pressure cooker exploded - it was a squeezy bottle of tomato sauce that had fallen behind a chair, and not been noticed. It sat there simmering, and one hot summer's day, decided to explode!

Oh, the (dripping) mess everywhere!
Now the bottle is checked in and out of the fridge, I'm not cleaning up THAT again!

Chef_autumnwinds, Jul 7, 7:28 pm

I loved those pics, especially the bread rolls, some looked as if they were puking.
A recent fail of mine was when I made a tarte tatin (have made them heaps successfully) & the dish got firmly stuck when I inverted it!
It wouldn't budge.
Wouldn't ya know it would happen when having guests?

Chef_samanya, Jul 8, 11:07 am

Me and a buddy boiled eggs until they exploded when I was 8 or so.
Eggs on the ceiling.
Not good.

Chef_nzdoug, Jul 8, 11:21 am

** bump - for the giggles. **

Chef_autumnwinds, Jul 8, 11:36 pm

Liberally spraying the can of "Budget" cooking spray over the tray of meat & veg. only to discover too late that their flyspray was in the exact same looking can.

Chef_kaddiew, Jul 9, 8:22 am

picture this a labrador,myself a pressure cooker chook and veggies The pressure cooker blew mana from heaven it was a race to who was going to grab the chook before it hit the floor What a bloody mess left on the ceiling .

Chef_badams1, Jul 10, 4:43 pm

I made some ginger beer and stored it under the house in plastic milk crates. One night there was a massive thud that shook the house. I thought it was kids playing with fireworks, but when it happened again I started to investigate. The plastic bottles were exploding, smashing their way out of the crate, and hitting the floorboards like rockets. Home made explosives.

Chef_devonwrecked, Jul 10, 4:48 pm

Yesterday I spilt 4 sticky litres of sugar water all over the bench and floor, does that count?

Chef_rainrain1, Jul 10, 4:49 pm



Who won?

Chef_kay141, Jul 10, 4:55 pm

Not my worst, as that's too long a tale, but one that stil draws a wry grin from me when l make baked potatoes. I was working the evening shift at my parents' small Rest Home and decided to throw a couple of spuds in the oven for an easy tea for myself. l was youngish, hadn't made them that often and clearly hadn't grasped the importance of pricking them. My Mum phoned to check all was well and that all the ladies were snug in their beds. While l was chatting to her there was a series of thuds from the kitchen that were loud enough for her to hear over the phone. When she asked what the noise was l laughed and said it was probably my potatoes exploding.
Joke was on me because it was and they had completely coated the inside of the oven with a layer of mash. By the time the oven had cooled down enough to clean it had set into a sort of potato cement that took several hours to remove. Needless to say l prick my potatoes VERY well nowadays.

Chef_bella95, Jul 12, 2:26 am

Moved into new house, made a chocolate cake. Top looked good, so removed from oven got as far as the edge of the bench. Bottom fell out of the tin, runny cake mixture spewed all down into a pot draw that was open a little, over top of my shoes and on to the floor. Gooey mess, and I quickly found a manual on the new oven.

Chef_fifie, Jul 12, 9:53 am

Newly married (many years ago) me husband told me that he loved jelly and custard, so I made a beautiful jelly in a mould and was so proud when I placed it on the table. I then proceeded to pour the hot custard over our dishes. No one told me that it was suppose to be cold. We ended up with a melted mess. lol

Chef_kiwitrish, Jul 12, 10:40 am

Set an overnight dough for Hot Cross Buns (about 40 years ago)
Didn't raise much overnight but set the Buns out on trays and kept them warm.
Still didn't raise well so cooked them as is.
Turned out I had used the Sugar as Salt and the Salt as Sugar

Chef_snapperheadrkp, Jul 12, 11:12 am

Sister in law many years ago had a crack at cooking mince. Instead of thickening with Flour she used baking soda by mistake. A veritable lahar

Chef_golfdiver, Jul 12, 12:02 pm

once I was cooking baked beans and turned the element on but it didn't heat up. I waited for about 4-5 minutes, then realised that the plastic kettle that was on the element behind the one with the baked beans on was slowly melting. I'd turned the wrong element on and ruined a perfectly good kettle!

Chef_muffin2, Jul 12, 1:04 pm


Now that is funny. You poor thing.

Chef_malcovy, Jul 12, 2:05 pm


Oh shite . the sort of thing that any of us could do.
& a carefully prepared meal ruined, I'd be so pithed off with myself. you poor dear.

Chef_samanya, Jul 12, 5:28 pm


I've ended up years ago in A & E with a burnt hand - ceramic cook top at the time & thought it was off & wiped it . it wasn't glowing red, so in my mind it was definitely OFF!. it wasn't

Chef_samanya, Jul 12, 5:31 pm



I did that last week but it wasn't the kettle it was the iron that had been left on the stove top !

Chef_sniper03, Jul 12, 5:42 pm

My mum told me, a few years back, that when she was a newly wed she decided to bake a sponge. Hadn't read the instructions properly and decided that as it was called a 'Two Minute Sponge' she only needed to cook it for 2 minutes. Obviously it was a failure and she was so worried that my father would think she was a terrible cook that she burried it in the vege garden and never told him.

Chef_bella95, Jul 13, 2:09 am


that reminds me of a story my mother used to tell . local farmer's wife made a rock hard 'sponge' & her sons nailed it to the wall.

Chef_samanya, Jul 13, 10:59 am

A dear friend of mine long deceased,was mixing up the dough for the daily bread mix in a commercial bakery mixer. He tested with thermometer , was distracted and the bread went thru the next stage .He realised his mistake ,once he saw broken glass thru the dough.Now his boss was a real taskmaster. It was the early hours of the morning . Sohe knew he would get a grilling . His mate and ray decided to dig a hole and bury it. A frenzie to accomplish and get another batch on . The boss turned upmade himself a cup and leaned on the bench ,looking out the window. He looked perplexed. and called he young apprentice over. He stated i swear i see the ground moving . Where they had buried the bread dough . was indeed rising . He never found out . and Ray just acted matter of fact . he said he was lucky.

Chef_badams1, Jul 15, 11:11 am

Another personal fail for me.I was attached to chch polytechnic . welcoming refugees and general helping with language .We had a big event where everyone to bring a plate. Well i made a beautiful Apple pie . strangely at the end of the meal . only little bits taken and left beside it . I decided to have a piece no wonder it was left i had made it with salt and not sugar . Never owned up to it ,and left the dish it came in . So embarrassed.

Chef_badams1, Jul 15, 11:21 am

Early days of marriage I managed to burn boiled eggs. glad to say I have improved out of sight since those early days

Chef_figjamto, Jul 21, 4:26 pm

I did the same as photo number one, first ever Lasagna, dropped it just before the dining table in front of guests

Chef_sossie1, Jul 24, 11:06 pm