Cooking fails

I saw a bit of 'Worst cooks in America' and it made me laugh.

one cooking fail I remember is when I did a couple of cooking courses at night school over 10yrs ago we were frying something and the tutor asked 'how do you know if the oil in the pan is hot enough'? and one young lady put her finger in the frypan to see if it was hot enough and burnt the tip of her finger!

My worst one was I was trying to to a 'baked camenbert cheese' and I just put the camembert cheese in the oven and turned it on. 10 mins later the oven was a mess! I've never tried to do baked camembert cheese ever again.

anyone got any good 'cooking fail' stories?

Chef_muffin2, Apr 10, 10:48 am

The first time I tried to make mashed potatoes was a disaster. first off I didn't cook the potatoes anywhere near enough so they were hard when trying to mash and then added too much milk. so it was like half raw potatoes in a milky soup.

Also tried to make rice risotto once (out the box too) and it was just a big gluggy mess no one ate it.

This was when I first went flatting for uni so woulda been 17 or 18. oops! Much better cook now (if I do say so myself).

ETA: altho in saying that I am a better cook now. my last disaster was just after i'd met the Mr (so about 5 years ago), tried to do some nice lamb shanks. Turned out they were actually mutton and I cooked them for about an hour like roasting them and they were tough as boots and also thrown out. now know to slow cook the buggers!

Chef_kirmag, Apr 10, 11:24 am

yes, cleaning out a vat full of fat using water, The fat was a tad too hot. Fat rose up and over, all over the floor. lol. I waited longer for the fat to cool the next time I cleaned out the bottom of the vat, using water.

Chef_pickles7, Apr 10, 11:28 am

The first chicken casserole I made MrP was a absolute failure.

Firstly I tried to do it in a pot like sausage stew.

Put the chicken and onions and vegies in a pot with some chicken Oxo.

Let it cook for a good hour or so, then thickened it with flour and water

Honestly it looked like lumps of meat in wall paper paste.

I buried it in the back section. And told him we were having take aways that night.

You could tell I had never cooked a casserole or stew before then lol

I do much better now lol

Chef_popeye333, Apr 10, 12:51 pm

One of my more memorable failures was on a Christmas day. I had people coming to stay so early am, I decided to make a batch of croissants to have on hand for breakfasts/lunches ( I'd successfully made them many times) . all went well until I popped them into the oven & for some reason the butter content all fell out & the oven caught fire . what a b****r of a job to clean up.

Chef_samanya, Apr 10, 1:33 pm

Not cooking but baking fail for me was when I first got married. Hubby said he liked jelly and custard so I made a beautiful jelly in a mould and then made the custard, which I poured over the Jelly. Problem was I didnt know that the custard should have been cold. It melted all the jelly. lol

Chef_kiwitrish, Apr 10, 1:48 pm

Biggest fail = my jelly wouldn't set, who can't make jelly?! haha.

Chef_jaygee1962, Apr 10, 1:51 pm

Made a double mixture of banana cake, only thing was I forgot to double the flour, talk about Mt Vesuvious it rose and bubbled everywhere, literally poured down the sides and over the bottom of the oven.

Chef_mercury14, Apr 10, 2:12 pm

Loving this thread.

Chef_tex-tickle, Apr 10, 2:49 pm

Me jaygee. I have failed more than once to make jelly. :(

My biggest fail were, as always, my scones. I was under the impression the first time I made them that I could just knock them out. Noooooooo.
I could have used them to build houses they resembled bricks so much.
I threw them away, whipped out to the supermarket and bought some and popped them in the oven and my guests never said a word if they guessed.

That was 20 years ago and I have only just learnt to do scones.

Chef_fey, Apr 10, 2:59 pm

my girls asked what was for dessert . pointed to my sponge cooling on the sideboard and one brightly said 'yum I love pancakes!' Ok will admit to it being a bit of a flop but have never made a sponge since that day LOL! Mrs L

Chef_lofty010247, Apr 10, 3:23 pm

i put too muck baking powder in a sponge and it was all over my grand mothers oven . i used to make a fruit short bead slice by making short bread then setting a jelly and pouring it over fresh fruit that was the topping for the shortbread ,every one loved it my mother tried to make it and she put hot jelly over the shortbread you have never seen such a soggy mess . why i dont know she was a good cook

Chef_whitehead., Apr 10, 3:50 pm

lol some good posts, for sure.

Chef_pickles7, Apr 10, 3:54 pm

Haa. that reminded me of a story my mother used to tell. A friend of hers was cooking smoko for shearers & whipped up a batch of scones & they were a bit brick like, but needs must with no time & all that. Later she found a row of them . nailed to the wool shed wall!

Chef_samanya, Apr 10, 4:14 pm

I remember when i was a lil nipper and we were staying at nana n pop's. Mum had taken along some yams and nana had never seen them before. Anyway she was in the kitchen for aaaages getting dinner ready and when she ffinally came out she said to mum "never buy those bloody yams again, they're a bugger to peel". Everyone still has a good ol laugh about that when we have yams. I loved my nana haha.

Chef_kirmag, Apr 10, 5:10 pm

Not mine, but my husband's boo boo. He decided to make a roast dinner whilst I was at work. The trouble was that he did not use a roasting dish but an expandable cake tin so when the dripping melted it went straight through the tin and into the oven!

Chef_lulu239, Apr 10, 5:42 pm

the first time I made anzac biscuits I put then too close together on the oven tray thinking they wouldn't get much bigger than they were, but they did and they all joined up to make 1 humongous anzac biscuit!

I had to cut them up while they were still 'hot out the oven'!

Chef_muffin2, Apr 11, 10:33 am

Baking fail, moved to new house made me a choccy cake. Was in a tin where the bottom comes out, got it out of oven to the bench to sit on cake rack to cool and bottom fell out of the tin, cake looked cooked on top to me all the middle was uncooked it ran over the bench down the front into the pot draw all through the pots lol, and dripped on to the floor, on closer inspection i had the oven set wrong.

Chef_fifie, Apr 11, 11:59 am

I used baking soda instead of baking powder once. What an interesting tasting slice that was.

Chef_hutchk, Apr 11, 12:04 pm

When I was about 12 and Mum was out I thought I'd make some hokey pokey. Halved the mixture so I could cook it quickly but put double the amount of baking soda in. Cleaned up that mess and then had to get rid of the stuff so I flushed it down the loo. Wasn't the best idea I'd ever had.

Chef_aisling8, Apr 11, 6:08 pm

I roasted a corned silverside couldn't figure out why meat was still red,It didn't taste too bad but have always labelled meat in freezer since,of course I had mother in law for dinner and wanted to impress,

Chef_mrsvonflik, Apr 12, 5:01 pm

Don't you just hate that, a fail, when you really want to impress?
Happens to us all . even those on this MB who would never admit to a 'fail'.
I haven't ever roasted corned silverside, but it's a very common mistake.
I have roasted pickled pork, intentionally & it was just like hot baked ham & a great success
.I had read about it, so bit the bullet, with much trepidation & would do it again.

Chef_samanya, Apr 12, 6:27 pm

My 25 yr old daughter is currently having many "fails" in her kitchen which has been really frustrating her. Pregnant and feeling a bit nesty she is keen to impress her partner. She was never keen to spend time in the kitchen with me at home, So I have little sympathy.

Chef_molly37, Apr 12, 9:37 pm

Not really a fail but definitely a misadventure. I'd made some chocolate eclair cases, spent a considerable amount of time icing them and then popped them into the freezer to be hauled out, a few at a time for special occasions. My DH even helped with the icing.

I keep all food scraps that can possibly attract flies in a drawer in my freezer as well. On rubbish day, DH hauled a bag of rubbish out of the deep freeze and threw it away. He managed to leave the food scraps and throw away the chocolate eclair cases. Sigh.

Chef_buzzy110, Apr 13, 2:54 pm

A similar one to yours, buzzy . mum used to keep the chook scraps in a covered bucket & also used a covered bucket to soak the Christmas cake fruit . guess who, when asked to feed the chooks, gave them the fruit mix!
I was not at all popular!

Chef_samanya, Apr 13, 5:59 pm

That made me laugh. I hope the chooks eggs were super fantastic for the next few days. My DH wasn't flavour of the hour either till I was able to see the funny side. The next day we fell about laughing like hyenas.

Chef_buzzy110, Apr 13, 6:18 pm

I realised what I had done & I have to say, the thought crossed my mind to scoop it all up & pop it back into the bucket (the chooks weren't that interested in it anyway) & pretend it didn't happen . but being the honest little soul that I am . I couldn't do it!
Mum was a kind mum & I knew that she'd rather I was totally honest.
If I'd been caught lying I would have really been in the s**t . big time!

Chef_samanya, Apr 14, 6:23 pm

a while ago, I was making some cakes for work, decided I would ice them at night before bed, rather than get up early, (I don't like icing - either eating or making it).

grab the icing sugar out of the cupboard, thinking, Hmm, I thought there was more in here than that, but guess I have just used more than I realised, and topped it up (after having used the last of it).

wow, this icing is looking better than usual, but the consistency isn't right. oh stuff it, bed time, I give up.

Cleaning up I put the icing sugar container in the cupboard next to the, oh, darn, icing sugar. Now it makes sense why it wasn't working, guess I better buy more cornflour.

work did not care they just got my usual icing sugar dusting on the cakes (proper, not the cornflour flavour), and I worked out I still hate doing icing lol

Chef_unknowndisorder, Oct 10, 2:09 pm

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