Arriving at a friends house having been invited to dinner, only to find friend has forgotten to tell wife, and they sit and have tea in front of you, or inviting friends round to tea, only to have them arrive already having had theirs at home.A few years ago this happened to me two weekends running.First time the friends arrived at our place having already eaten and I'd cooked a lovely big roast meal and a lovely pud of some sort, the following week we went out for tea at a friends place, only she hadn't been told, so when they started to eat their tea, we had to make an excuse and leave.Oh dear!
davidt4,
Nov 13, 9:21pm
Maybe the problem is the definition of "tea".To most people tea means a cup of tea and maybe a cake, but to some people it means dinner.
My impression is that when tea means dinner it implies a very early meal - 6pm or so.
hails1,
Nov 13, 9:44pm
that i kinda random, at least they didnt ask you to bring half of it ! Cant stand that.
madmoll,
Nov 13, 10:52pm
Why do people call dinner.tea. I was always brought up to say breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, supper. Dinner can be anytime from 6pm onwards, but tea is clearly what it is. a cup of tea, cake or scone
kuaka,
Nov 13, 11:00pm
Yes, I quite agree, and the first time my first hubby and I were invited out to "tea" when we had only been in NZ a few weeks, I insisted he came home at lunchtime and had a "proper meal" as we were only going out for tea.So lunchtime I had cooked roast beef, roast spuds, yorkshire puds, veg, and I forget whether it was apple pie or apple crumble for pud, and our tea consisted of a four course meal, with soup, prawn cocktail, roast lamb, roast potatoes, yorkshire puds (as the host knew he was mad about them and had them with every roast) and then we followed up with pavlova and trifle.Some "tea".
fordstar1,
Nov 13, 11:00pm
I don't think it's a problem of communication so much as it is a problem with etiquette in NZ.
asue,
Nov 14, 1:16am
That happened to us too.Got invited for dinner, arrived at 5ish absolutely starving and found they were annoyed at us for not coming to dinner at midday! Hmmm (thank god for takeaway shops on the way home).I usually say come for an evening meal see you about 5.30ish, meal at 6 or something like that,
kuaka,
Nov 14, 3:03am
Well on the occasion when I invited a lady I worked with and her husband around for tea (actually I can't remember whether I said tea or dinner) and suggested maybe something like 6 or 6.30 she said it was a bit early, so I said okay, make it about 7 or 7.30.She said that was still a bit early so we settled on 8.When they arrived it turned out she thought I'd said "come after tea" not "come for tea".Oops!
buzzy110,
Nov 14, 6:08am
How rude of your friends to start eating their 'dinner' while you were still there. I'd have knocked up something extra and offered you to share or, if that was impractical, I'd have brought cheeses, crackers, fresh fruit or whatever, opened the wine and beer and just left dinner till you'd gone whether that was early or at midnight.
buzzy110,
Nov 14, 6:13am
What I think is the rudest is to not show up in good time for dinner. We had friends where we used to regularly go to each others houses for 'dinner'. The husband could never get his act together and they'd often arrive at least 1-2 hours after the meal was planned and had been cooked to that timetable. Meals were regularly ruined no matter what subterfuge I used to get them to arrive in time for pre-dinner drinks.
They did it once too often and arrived to find us serving up the dessert and their meals in the rubbish. Repeated rudeness deserves a return protest I think.
emmapear,
Nov 14, 6:13am
likes.good for you.
nfh1,
Nov 14, 7:02am
Why do people call tea dinner!I was brought up with breakfast, dinner, tea and supper.
Tea is only clearly a cup of tea or a scone if you were brought up with that word meaning that!
lythande1,
Nov 14, 8:40am
That's mad. I'd share out what there was anyway.and asking friends, I'd be stating what the menus likely to consist of. Never invited anyone for dinner or tea anyway, I invite them for a BBQ or a roast or say we're havinga light meal or assortment help yourself orwhatever.
coolnzmum,
Nov 14, 8:47am
If I'm having a cup of tea that is exactly what I call it a cup of tea.We used both tea and dinner to refer to evening meal when I was growing up so still do.However if I'm inviting people around for a meal I normally like some one else just said invite them to a bar b que or what ever it is we are going to have.
I guess it is because us kiwis can be a bit more relaxed with our words than our English cousins who are way more inclined to use proper English.
waswoods,
Nov 14, 9:23am
And in many parts of the world "supper" is the main meal eaten in the evening
kuaka,
Nov 14, 9:56am
Yes, I noticed a while ago (maybe on my second trip back to visit the family in the UK) that Mum had started to call the evening meal "supper".Mum has always been a bit of a snob (with no good reason I might add) but she does like to put on airs and graces, and she probably thought it sounded a bit more posh than dinner or tea.She wouldn't even remember now as she has lost the plot, but when I was a kid my Dad always came home at lunchtime for "dinner" which was the main meal of the day, and in the evening we always had tea, which was maybe a bacon and egg pie, or more likely just a couple of sandwiches with not much filling, and a small piece of cake, blancmange or jelly if we were lucky.
nik12,
Nov 14, 5:59pm
To me the evening meal has always been tea (and to most of my friends) Nana always cooked dinner at lunch time on the farm. then they had 'tea', it was a lighter meal generally. There's no way I could be organised for a roast at lunch time these days, but when you think about heavy meals, going to bed, and gaining weight it actually makes a lot of sense. sorry totally gone off topic there lol
uli,
Nov 14, 9:13pm
So what is the difference between supper and dinner! I always thought supper was something one had after a dinner was served too early and one got hungry again by 8pm :)
craig04,
Nov 14, 9:21pm
What I thought too uli
ant_sonja,
Nov 14, 9:24pm
Breakfast, (morning) tea, lunch, (afternoon) tea, dinner & supper. I always thought that 'tea' was had mid morning and again in the late afternoon, with breakfast/lunch & dinner being the main meals. Supper happens later in the evening and especially so if dinner was eaten too early :-) My in-laws call dinner tea also. It can get confusing.
beaker59,
Nov 14, 9:32pm
So many cultures and backgrounds in this country, certainly too many to get hung up on convention. :)
I am a bit more relaxed but my wife when invited somewhere always gets clarification. Time, meal etc "tea you say mmmmmm that would be nice, what time would you expect us etc etc etc" everyone is more relaxed if they know what to expect I would of course offer to bring something and a nice bottle of wine. This weekend it will be a large bag of freshly smoked snapper roe :)
uli,
Nov 14, 9:38pm
You are tempting me again beaker - aren't you!
Well I can say my rehab is going in leaps and bounds now that I have worked up enough strength to actually work up a sweat! First time in 7 years that I need my towel in the gym LOL - so now I am expecting miracles every day of course - one of them will be going out on my boat for the first time very soon - this summer it MUST work out! I have waited far too long!
I will then be gloating about raw fish here (and most likely of lots of very sore muscles).
davidt4,
Nov 14, 11:05pm
from Wikipedia:
"In England, whereas "dinner", when used for the evening meal, is fairly formal, "supper" is used to describe a less formal, simpler family meal. In some areas of the United Kingdom, "supper" is used to describe an evening meal when dinner has been eaten around noon. In some northern British and Australian homes, as in New Zealand and Ireland, "tea" is used for the evening meal. In parts of the United Kingdom, supper is a term for a snack eaten after the evening meal and before bed, usually consisting of a warm, milky drink and British biscuits or cereal, but can include sandwiches.
Supper may refer to, on largely class-based distinctions, either a late-evening snack (working and middle class usage) or to make a distinction between "supper" as an informal family meal (which would be eaten in the kitchen or family dining room) as opposed to "dinner"; generally a grander affair (either or both in terms of the meal and the courses within the meal itself), which would be eaten in the best dining room, may well have guests from outside the household, and for which there may be a dress code.
It is common for social interest and hobby clubs that meet in the evening after normal dinner hours to announce that "a light supper" will be served after the main business of the meeting. In New Zealand it is similar – generally cake and tea/coffee served later in the evening, particularly when people have visitors."
elliehen,
Nov 15, 6:23am
So confusing.except for breakfast and lunch.Everyone seems to know where breakfast and lunch appear during the day.
I think an early 20th century generation of adults sometimes referred to lunch, the midday meal, as 'dinner' - especially on farms (gleaned from reading NZ fiction).
kuaka,
Nov 15, 6:32am
Also according to the locality you grew up in the UK and the class you were born to - and the post by Davidt4 seems to prove this.Manual workers, labourers, builders, farmers etc needed sustenance in the middle of their "shift" (miners probably did too, but it was impractical for them to come up from underground to have a cooked meal and then go back underground again mid-way through their shift), whereas the lord of the manor and the likes who basically bummed around and did nothing, could wait till evening, possibly even late evening, to have their main meal.
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