Cabbage Soup Diet

pixiegirl, Mar 6, 2:55am
This is a story about a couple who have been happily married for year - her husband was a regular follower of the cabbage soup diet. The only friction in their marriage was the husbands habit of passing wind very loudly every morning when he woke up.

The noise would wake his wife up every morning and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would please with him "no more cabbage soup" and to stop passing wind all the time because it was making her sick

He told her he couldn't stop and he was addicted to the soup and that the passing of wind was a natural occurance. She told him to see a doctor as she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out! ! ! .

Many years went by and the wife was down stairs xmas morning preparing the turkey for dinner, hubby was still up in bed asleep and she could hear the passing of the wind as normal. beside her was the bowl of turket gizzards, neck and liver.

She looked at the bowl, looked upwards to where she could hear ber hubby in bed and all of a sudden a mischevious look came over her.

She quitely picked up the bowl and tip toes up the stairs to where her husband was still sound asleep in bed. Quite as a mouse she gently pulled backed the covers and than gently pulled the elastic of his pyjamas pant away ever so gently from his body. With a great deal of skill she managed to put the entire contents of the bowl down his pyjama pants without ever so much as a stir from him.

She quitely goes back down stairs and continues on with dinner - but with an evil look in her eyes.

About 20 minutes later she hears an earthshattering bloodcurdling scream followed by frantic sound of footprints and than dead silence. Wife by this time is rolling around the floor in fits of laughter. 30 minutes later her husband staggers down the stair, he is covered in blood, sweat and tears. Not a good site to see.

With a sheepish look on his face he turns and sys to her "darling you were right - you said if I kept on eating cabbage soup I would blow my guts out and I did.

But by the grace of God, a jar of Vaseline and these two fingers (holds up fingers) I have managed to put them back in.

Moral of the story - trademe members dont eat too much cabbage soup if you get my drift! !

lisa7, Mar 6, 3:04am

pixiegirl, Mar 6, 3:12am
When I first heard this many years ago I couldn't stop laughing, couldn't talk to anyone for ages - had tears rolling down my face. I just thought I would adapt to "suit" recipes etc - it has crossed over to the other side as well when I checked a little while ago.

pixiegirl, Mar 6, 3:13am
Hey lisa if you see someone coming towards you with a bowl of turkey gizzards - run... ... . .

m41, Mar 6, 4:10am
LAMO ! ! ! EWW! ! !

fruitluva2, Mar 6, 4:31am
Rofl lmao ... . made my day

pixiegirl, Oct 5, 2:50am
thought you guys would like it and it has "crossed" over to the other side as well.

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